I've got some time.

Getting new ink. Not this. But something meaningful. You'll never see it coming.

Xo

Walking through an opening I haven't seen in years I don't care to number. I look around at what's new and different, and everything looks exactly as I left it. The trees huddled together around the risen tree roots which I used to make my tea party table. The mushrooms are still over grown across the luscious green grass, so much so you'd think they had been scattered there on purpose. The tiny purple flowers lay thick amongst the grass and all up the gathered trees, like a fairy had planted them so. But I can't help noticing a difference in the air. A sort of, uneasiness surrounding me. Something here has lost it's charm, it's care free manner, it's innocence. But to me everything is right, down to the last detail, just as I remembered. In the days where I would spend hours down here, to escape. Running round with my imagination as my guide. I would fight battles, save princes (silly boys), have tea with visiting royal families, whatever I wanted to do in my magical garden, I could. No one ever judged me, as they weren't there to see me. No one ever told me I wasn't achieving enough, as they couldn't see the battles I was winning. People didn't expect more from me than I of myself, because I was happy.

And as I stand here now I realize the change. In me.

I am not who I was the last time I came here. I am not who people want me to be, but I am not want I want me to be either. I am happy just surviving. Not winning battles, or saving lives, but just living. Where did the fire in me go? Where did the passion disappear to? In a sea of excuses, shrouded in ignorance.

I could do no wrong as a child. And now I feel I can do no right as an adult. I need to find the freedom I felt in this landscape of magic. I need to find my path there, and to a new home. I cannot be who I was then, but I cannot be who I am now.

Xo

It was meant to be waves.

These are even MORE things that are coming to me. But after last night Max made me realize I need to actually start doing stuff with my life. So I'm open to suggestions of crazy things I can do that will make me "experience life".

Hello Kitty bag number, uuummmm 3. 4 if you include my easter show one.

This adorable pink blouse. Very Alexa Chung, even the description said that, I'm so lame.

Hello Kitty earrings.

This beautiful white lace blazer.

Ha ha, silicone Hello Kitty cake trays.

Awesome. Who's ready for a story?

Xo

They're turning away.

Did you know?

The Harry Potter Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, made by Jelly Belly beans, vomit flavoured bean was originally created to be a Pizza flavoured bean. But it tasted THAT BAD that they scrapped it from their normal line and turned it into vomit. Nice.

Xo

Marry us??

So, right now I still have 2 bags, a bath mat, 3 body towels, a flannel, a frying pan, earrings and ipod speakers all Hello Kitty still to come. And they're mostly all for when I move out. Like things I actually need in my apartment. I will admit I'm going overseas before I move out, but I need them. Take a look at my sister. She has probably around $900 worth of Tupperware stashed in the spare room for when she decides to move out again. Hope she realizes some of that is coming with me too. But now the things left to get really must include this bath, a toaster, television set, microwave, and while I'm making up outlandish requests, a fridge. All Hello Kitty that is..

Xo

Never too late to learn.

Met one of Max's brothers friends last night. Her name is actually Ziggy. Her parents are massive David Bowie fans. I love it. And she's awesome.

Xo

Polaris.

I hope everyone likes reading my rants. Because as angry as I get. I am subdued in an instant by the one they call Maximillian. I hate that he can make me SO angry and SO set in my ways. Then turn around and make sense of my madness and solve the problem better than I could have even begun to comprehend. DAMN HIM. Because I love him.

Xo

I've never had a real picnic in a park. Like a nice picnic with someone special. Maybe I should make one. Probably for myself as Max sleeps during the day. Anyone want to come?

Xo

Give it away

The best, current, television programme on the whole PLANET!!! Addicted. Absolutely addicted.

Xo

My well done is going for its first turn.

So over this shit hey. Over being expected to be denied of sleep every weekend. So sick of being put second behind pathetic activities. So sick of being made to feel selfish by wanting to do nice things on my days off. So over everyone else moving forward and me struggling to plan ANYTHING worthwhile. Yes I may be being selfish. And yes the timing of my days is in some ways innapropriate. But get over it. What would be my dream? To actually book a 2 week holiday to London. Then the second I'm back, move out and get pregnant. So I at least have an excuse to stay in like I want to. I'm sick of feeling second best. I want the feeling of being pregnant. I'm the cluckiest woman on the planet but that's all I want. To be at home at night while he goes out, and feed my baby belly and experience the unconditional love I will feel. I'm not saying this in an attention seeking "I feel unloved" way. I'm saying it because that is what I want. I can't explain it further. I feel so happy in my love. I want to make it bigger. NO I'M NOT SERIOUSLY GOING TO FALL PREGNANT. I'm not that dumb. I'm aware I'm not even 24 and would hate it being stuck at home ALL the time. But it's days like today where I feel like it's my servant duty to accompany people to the cross EVERY saturday night. Even when they promise to stay in and watch movies with me. EVERYONE has a real job. GET ONE! Angry posts make for a sad Giselle. But how else do I explain how I feel, to the whole world wide web.

Xo

What is wrong with you?

My newest things. Some I haven't even got yet. But my phone cover I do.

Yes, I bought lacy socks from an ebay store that sold crotch-less things. I'm just THAT cool.

For when I move out. I promise to make pancakes, and bacon and eggs, and omelettes every morning with this baby.

I paid for this and have like 3 that I'm bidding on. How Asian do I want to be??

And right now I'm FINALLY watching "Where the wild things are". Everytime Max gets upset I remember how I used to get upset at the same things as a kid. Big kids suck when you're a little kid.

Xo

Feeling in the mood.

But what for, I do not know. Laying on Max's bed and his room STINKS.. And to fix it means turning on the air con which makes me cold. Why is it so hard. Meh.

Xo

But why would you want to live there?

My new things.

Emerald green sequin body con, shoulder pad, mini dress. $18 ebay. Now this was a beautiful present from the lovely Sophie from www.icanhearyourwhispers.blogspot.com
You can't really see it but it's a purple lace and mesh dress. PERFECT, if I was pregnant and needed to go to a cocktail party. But might wear it for a dinner so I don't have to hold it in. If I ever went to a nice place for dinner.

Wore this on sat with my new blue lipstick, Ah-mazing. Felt like Alice in wonderland, on crack.

Xo

Where do you go in April???

Amy P!! Nachos for dinner.. So full after like a quarter.

Amy K and Kristy

You're an embarressment Amy

This is a cake. Dead set.

Hall of mirrors.

Another cake.

More cake.

Sippy cup.

You're so charming.

Group shot. We are THAT embarressing.

This Alice in Wonderland cake actually had the exact faces on the flowers as in the movie.

This is how to spend a perfect day. Had the best time I've had in years. Amazing girls. Amazing day.

Xo

Just threw it away.

OVER IT!!!

Over nothing actually, well my intollerances really. To food and people. Gggrrr... Work is awesome. Kinda got a promotion thingy/role change, so thats SUPER exciting. Had my manager and 2IC have a meeting with me yesterday and they said heaps of stuff, like good and bad, but nothing unwarranted. AND then said they think I'm ACE and have created a role for me. But it's on the D-L atm. SO EXCITED!!! And heaps of people have been really excited for me which is awesome, one was too tired to show any enthusiasm but I'm sure it's there somewhere. Anyhoo, gotta post my Easter show shots. HEAPS great day.

Xo

I know Anneka.

That I said I hated your dog, and all small dogs for that matter. But how could I not love this. It's a pug. Now I think they are cute.

Xo

Oh yes, the butterflies are still there.

Just watched a short biography on Brigitte Bardot on Foxtel. And it made me fall in love with her all over again. Hearing her give interviews with American journalists asking her questions like a toddler, to have her answer back with retorts so demasculating, it's a wonder she didn't get along with Germaine Greer more. She imbodied sex, style, parissian flair, chic 70s France and all that came with it. She put St Tropez on the map after strolling the street of her home town and being followed by photographers wherever she went. She said in an interview that she only wanted to do one film every two years, as it was so much work. She took up from where Marilyn Monroe left off, after her death in 1972, and had a rollercoaster ride to success. Her early years of fame were tainted by two suicide attempts, but she, alone, regained the strength and came back in full force as the amazing woman who is still alive today. The woman who made a golden mane of hair, thick black eye make-up and gap front teeth, incredible.

Xo

I'll swim the ocean for you.

This was my Saturday night.

Lady Lux. Maximillian the sexiest man alive. Byron, the enigmatic photographer extraordinaire, Cody the great beacon of fashion knowledge, Lewis, Sydney's new wonder model and my new boots.Lewis.
Cody, and I forgot his name.

Byron on the right.

My boots.

My man. My main, main man.

The more we think, the less we know.

Hold me tight and we shouldn't let go.

Xo

These little black sandles, are walking me away. These little black sandles, saved my life today.

So I have to admit something.

I have an addiction.

To ebay.

BUT, these are what I've got so far.

. Topshop boots. A little big but meh.
HELLO KITTY handbag. I'm SO asian.

Xo

The shape of things to come.

This is just one of the 8 paid for items I will soon have in my possession thanks to the wonders of ebay shopping. Oh and I'm also bidding on 9 more than end within the next 10 days. I believe I am addicted. But in my defense, when do I have time to go shopping anymore? I work 40 hours a week in the city where there are no 2nd hand clothing stores within 2 kms, and on my 2 days off a week I spend them either out dancing or snuggling with , like I'm doing now as its the best time to catch up on blogging and be comfy and cozy too. So I guess this is my only outlet. And it's so much fun. In total in the last week and a half I have bought $215.77 worth of goodies for myself. They include my new Hello Kitty phone cover, doesn't it look like a cake?? Like a christening cake. A Hello kitty ipod speaker, Hello kitty lamp, hello kitty handbag, hello kitty for MAC eye-liner, mascara and foundation. I seem to be Hello Kitty obsessed. And a green sequin dress, blue dress with white lace, purple lace dress, blue mesh dress, and I finally recieved my black peplum asian flower print dress from overseas. Now I must also wait for my floral pixie boots from topshop to get here so I can have new work shoes. And I need to be patient and wait for ALL my bidding items to finish before I bid for more. Highly unlikely, I am addicted to shopping after all.

Xo