Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Love is alive

And in each and every one of us.
Love is the feeling you get when your phone beeps with a message.
Or when you're all alone at a festival with no reception, and your year eleven best friend jumps on you from behind to save you from loneliness.
Love is when you see your friends and they shriek in delight.

Love is doing something for yourself.
No matter what others might think.
Because you have to love yourself for someone to love you.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I think I love the darkness.

Blake Lively and Leighton Meester.
Chloe Sevigny

Macauley Culkin

Vogue shots

Sexual behaviour

Marc Jacobs.

Terry Richardson knows what to do behind a camera every time. Whether its the girls from everyones favourite Gossip Girl, the disfunctional couple from Party Monster, one of the greatest magazines ever created, a very delicious exploration of our oral delights or a man who has done more for pony hide shoes than any other.
He can show sides of people that they didn't even know they had.
My dream to strip down for him.
And not in a erotic way.
Though he could probably twist in his artistic way and I'd end up looking clothed.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Twins.

They aren't actually identical.

Why are people fat? Because God hates them..

I love Fantasy
Take me to Disneyland.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


You know those times when you're sitting at home bored out of your mind wanting someone to call you and entertain you, but no one calls? Till that call from your grandma, asking how you are? and you couldn't think of anything worse than filling your spare time, than having to talk to her?
Well I used to do that. I used to say two words to her than pass her onto mum, glad I didn't have to talk to her anymore. What would she have to say to me that could be of any worth? what story of war torn England, or moving to Australia with my mother to meet the family of her beloved husband, father of my mother, who'd left her a widow after being shot down in Germany in world war 2? What feelings of love and care could she fill me with to make me stay on the line with her just to hear her voice? Why should I miss precious time watching paint dry,when I could speak to the most influencial person I will ever meet? What reason can you give me to listen to you?
This I did to my Grandma.
My Nani.
I never listened to her.
I never thought I'd need to.
Then she got sick.
And three weeks later, she died.
I had three weeks to learn a lifetime of information, stories, memories and the meaning of love.
Three weeks isn't enough time to learn how to drive.
Learn a language.
Train for a job at mcdonalds.
So how could it be enough time for me to spend with the most amazing woman in my life.
She solely raised my mother, the other most important woman in my life. After my grandfather was killed. She did more for me than anyone I will ever know, just with her love. She cared for more people than I could count. And she buried more people than any need too. She worked so hard for my mother to have all she could give, which by todays standards is nothing, but to my mother, was everything. This was a woman who created a world within a world when you were with her.
She had her bad parts.
And her amazing parts.
There is so much we can learn from our Grandma's and Grandpa's.
There is so much my Nani taught me.
But so much more she left untaught.
She left me a life to live.
A life that without her seems so empty.
A life that I try to live to its fullest everyday.
And for her I did something she would have both liked, and highly disliked.
I got Nani inked on my left wrist, so I could think of her always. But sometimes I find myself looking over her like I did when she was alive. And it makes me so sad to think that I can't pick up the phone and talk to her, like I never did. I can't see her getting her belongings out of her car on a sunday morning, when she comes to visit. I can't hold her in my arms like I wish I could. And it makes me sad to see girls and their Nani's out shopping, because they don't apprieciate it the way they should.
If I could give one piece of advice to anyone. It would be to love the ones you can while you can. because you never know when it suddenly becomes too late. And all you have are photos to look at. And memories to remember. Because as wonderful and amazing as those thoughts are. They aren't as good as the real thing. They aren't as truly wonderful.
You don't know what you've got till its gone.
But try your hardest to hold onto it while it's still here.
Love is the most powerful thing in the universe.
Embrace it.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dream a little dream of me..

I already have a yellow one.
And a emerald green one.
But I definatly need a hot pink one.
Match my hair. I need a tutu..
eBay baby..
Shoulder pads.
Need I say more.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

No picture. No bullshit.

I believe everyone has two families.
The one you're born into.
The one you chose for yourself.
This second family are your friends. Some you pick for their talents, their humour, the way they love you and make you smile.
Some are just like those strange half-uncles you don't really like but are there nontheless.
The family you have is full of the people that hold your hair back while you're sick, shop with you at the last minute, sit with you at 4am still highly intoxicated, and tell you what you don't want to know. Because they are there for you 150%. They never want to make you cry but they do so they can see you smile. The never want to see you hurt but can see the light at the end that you cannot. They are the friends who tell you you are beautiful and you deserve the best. And they are the ones that know the best.
These friends we have are there through thick and thin. They will never yell at you for saying something silly, never point at you and laugh when you're embarressed by another.
Whether they are new or old, borrowed or broken. Each friend you chose yourself has been hand picked for greatness. They will be there for you through everything you need. And if they waver, even for a second. Know that there's a whole tree full of other ones to fall back on.

Friday, June 5, 2009

This mask we all wear.

To understand how someone feels, deals with their emotions, shows they care or why they look into the distance like they do, you have to put yourself in their shoes. But why would you want to be in someone else's shoes when each of us have big enough shoes to fill as is. Its the need to experience the differences in life that draw us to wanting to be someone else. To wear a mask. To hide our real selves and take on someone else. Take on their problems, their habits, their vices. These feelings of yearning to be someone else come at times when what we see as our lives isn't what we wanted. Its not what we asked for. Its not our plan. And so we see that model in the magazines. The writer in the papers. Or the woman sitting in the coffee shop. And we want to be them. Engulf ourselves in something that the real us would never think of, would never dream, would never do.
But its these feelings and actions that in turn allow us to lose ourselves. 
But we all need to lose ourselves once in a while. Otherwise, how will we appreciate everything the real us has.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Where do they live if they are hobos??

July 3rd?? I may be wrong but thats when I think the concert for these hectic kids is on..
The Bloody Beetroots.
Hands down one of the best DJ performers I have ever seen..
As much as I love and adore winter, unlike Sez. 
There's nothing quite like a summer festival.
Dressing up in festival gear.
Hanging out all day with your friends.
Getting off head.
Dancing in circles with the ones who make you laugh.
His name is Patrick Stevenson.
He is a photographer like no other.
He can turn a simple walk into a photographic creation like this.
These shots are all his.
I know Patrick has muddled with this slightly because I know and adore Jaxon and he does have a soul behind those eyes.
slightly missing now tho..

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The people who

So in the small portions of time I have to enjoy between attempted sleep, work, running late for work, getting dressed, making sweet sweet love and generally being the awesome me, I enjoy spending my time with some very precious people I hold close to my heart.
Some are new.
Some are new but old.
Some are old.
And then there's Pav.
I don't really know where he fits in.
This is Pav and Anneka.
I've known Pav for a few years now and seen him go from bad to worse to awesome to terrible. But these days he's straightened himself out and is living with his best mate Benny and Benny's lovely lady, Anneka.
Now Anneka is the amazing blonde in this shot. One of the most genuinely amazing, beautiful girls. I know I haven't know her for long, but I know I will know her for a very long time and enjoy every minute of it.
This is Michael.
Through every sober or trashed experience we've watched and laughed at the other. When I'm too retarded to speak I know Michael will be there to watch and piss himself, and vice versa. He's been my best friend for 3 years now and we've never argued due to neither caring that much about the other but still being there.
I am his fag hag.
He is my gay.
This is Fraser.
He's new to me. Highly interesting. And sometimes causes more trouble than he's worth.
But, ADHD kids have to stick together.

This is Madds.
She's my sister.
Not really but close to it.
She lives across the street and without her I would not have got through all the terrible fights and terrors that my life does hand me everyday.

This is Seraina.
She is well on her way to total world fashion domination, one indie dress at a time.
She's got more style than Erin Wasson and Audrey Hepburns love child.

This is Claire.
Fast becoming my other sister with Madds.
She's a trooper and a star and is hand down the biggest KNOCK OUT I know.

This is Maximillian.
You know him.
He's worth a lot more than his name to me.

These are just a few of the people that make my life the rollercoaster ride of laughs, kisses, trashy nights, bedroom gurns, colourful clothes, smiles and so much more.
And now I must move on into the unknown.
The new land.
The land of 23.