Wednesday, June 17, 2009


You know those times when you're sitting at home bored out of your mind wanting someone to call you and entertain you, but no one calls? Till that call from your grandma, asking how you are? and you couldn't think of anything worse than filling your spare time, than having to talk to her?
Well I used to do that. I used to say two words to her than pass her onto mum, glad I didn't have to talk to her anymore. What would she have to say to me that could be of any worth? what story of war torn England, or moving to Australia with my mother to meet the family of her beloved husband, father of my mother, who'd left her a widow after being shot down in Germany in world war 2? What feelings of love and care could she fill me with to make me stay on the line with her just to hear her voice? Why should I miss precious time watching paint dry,when I could speak to the most influencial person I will ever meet? What reason can you give me to listen to you?
This I did to my Grandma.
My Nani.
I never listened to her.
I never thought I'd need to.
Then she got sick.
And three weeks later, she died.
I had three weeks to learn a lifetime of information, stories, memories and the meaning of love.
Three weeks isn't enough time to learn how to drive.
Learn a language.
Train for a job at mcdonalds.
So how could it be enough time for me to spend with the most amazing woman in my life.
She solely raised my mother, the other most important woman in my life. After my grandfather was killed. She did more for me than anyone I will ever know, just with her love. She cared for more people than I could count. And she buried more people than any need too. She worked so hard for my mother to have all she could give, which by todays standards is nothing, but to my mother, was everything. This was a woman who created a world within a world when you were with her.
She had her bad parts.
And her amazing parts.
There is so much we can learn from our Grandma's and Grandpa's.
There is so much my Nani taught me.
But so much more she left untaught.
She left me a life to live.
A life that without her seems so empty.
A life that I try to live to its fullest everyday.
And for her I did something she would have both liked, and highly disliked.
I got Nani inked on my left wrist, so I could think of her always. But sometimes I find myself looking over her like I did when she was alive. And it makes me so sad to think that I can't pick up the phone and talk to her, like I never did. I can't see her getting her belongings out of her car on a sunday morning, when she comes to visit. I can't hold her in my arms like I wish I could. And it makes me sad to see girls and their Nani's out shopping, because they don't apprieciate it the way they should.
If I could give one piece of advice to anyone. It would be to love the ones you can while you can. because you never know when it suddenly becomes too late. And all you have are photos to look at. And memories to remember. Because as wonderful and amazing as those thoughts are. They aren't as good as the real thing. They aren't as truly wonderful.
You don't know what you've got till its gone.
But try your hardest to hold onto it while it's still here.
Love is the most powerful thing in the universe.
Embrace it.

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