Hard, hard, hard day at work. Took me four weeks, but I finally got yelled at. Oh well.
I did find out that I may have a new place to live as of next week, so thats exciting. A one bedroom for me and myself to relax and have ME time. Oh living in a house with reitred parents and a sister with no life sucks BALLS a lot of the time. Like when you want to try outfits on for the weekend on like a tuesday night, and there's only one full length mirror on your level, you go outside to look, and have your sister "ooohhh thats nice whats that for?" "Oooohh thats new where'd you get it??" "Oh I wish I was rich and could buy clothes all the time" "what're you doing?" FUCK OFF and gimme 5 minutes. Geez. Living alone will get lonely I admit. But it'll give me a nice break from never having a second to myself. In my house once you're in bed, thats where you stay. No getting out for food or tv. I have old parents. Yes I'm 23 and am trapped. But also my parents don't know I smoke, so there's no chance for a ciggie when I feel like it. Which is awesome for my health, but once I'm paying bills I'll probs not be able to afford them anyways. haha. But I will be asking for presents. Mainly a camera. Thanks Mum and Dad.
Wonderful 2 days off. Spent all yesterday schleeping with Max. Then saw "How to train your Dragon" in 3D, and it's AWESOME, I highly recommend seeing it. Amazing. Then schlept while Max watched Bee movie and From Paris with love. Then was up and showered by 12PM with Max and he made me an ommlette. Yummy in my tummy.
Whether it be full of the knowledge that someone you love dearly is being hurt and you feel powerless to stop it. But being there to see in her eyes that she will be okay no matter what the outcome.
Whether it be dragging my sorry working class ass out to the city only to get there as everyone leaves and feel super over it at 12.15AM.
Whether it being talking to a girl I never thought had anything between her ears, and being super surprised to hear everything she said and keenly interested.
Whether it being fully enjoying an entire day at work and the time flying by and not feeling over it or stressed at all.
Whether it being reminded of who someone was and regaling others on their history to feel discriminated against.
Whether it be my new shoes and dress and lipstick and eye-shadow all on their way to me right now.
All information and whethers aside. I am now enjoying my absolute favourite time of the week by far. Sitting with online having a jolly good time, while my favourite Maximillian is snoozing away peacefully next to me. It was our one year last thursday and though we didn't do anything big, the promises he made me were worth more to me than anything he could have ever given.
In saying that we are probably going to Queensland as he wants to take me to MOVIEWORLD!!! Definitely the most awesome place in Australia. Now that wonderland is closed.
Awkward for me. I realized I had like $100 more than I thought I did so I spent $140 on both hair dye and these boots. BUT, I tried henna dye tonight. Fail. So now I'm trying Manic Panic. Love these shoesies...
"“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find ”tomorrow” on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday’s defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, ”If I had my life to live over again. ”Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” — Og Mandino"
Spent all week considering taking my zebra boots off lay-by only to realize I'd already taken THESE off lay-by. So now I have weekend footwear. Pweety.. This is one of my new ebay purchases. Homemade and INCREDIBLE. And these are the two rings and beautiful rosary my Mummy bought for me from Spain. Xo
But for now it feels like a disaster zone. A battle field where under no circumstances can I win. What have I got to give? Nothing that cannot be bought. Love is the most amazing gift a human can bestow. Cherish it for all it's worth.
Good afternoon campers. What a weekend. What a weekend. There was the two days of store set-up I did friday and saturday. Then there was the official launch of Trashbags at Tank. Honestly I didn't think it'd go to well but they turned away 2,500 people and the club was at capacity by 11PM. So when I rocked up at like 10.05PM it was bedlam. There was at least 1,000+ people outside waiting and even if you'd been and come out to smoke you couldn't get back in. Dj's weren't being let in. Mayhem. So I sat down my favourite alley with my favourite Chelsea and Adrien and smoked up a storm for an hour, walked back to the line, saw a friend who works there got walked to the front door and handed my free card and strolled in, back to my BEDROOM. Now the Tank backroom bed is world famous as it is the place in Sydney for the elite to chill, have a comfy place to lay down and gurn or chat or do whatever without being disturbed highly by the public. Now the bedroom doesn't have a door or a curtain or a rope it is open to the public. But as I proved on saturday, it took me less than 3 minutes to walk in there and clear the 7 UGLY FERAL GIRLS OUTTA THERE. I know thats rude but its like when you reserve a booth for a friends party and people sit in it. It's your booth. And it's MY bed. SO, we chilled and partied till like 2.30AM which isn't very long but Max had a hotel room so we went there to chill. Literally sat there from 3AM till 8AM talking. Nothing else but talking. It was so lovely just to talk, which we always do but we always have places to go and stuff to do and this time we didn't so we could talk. Albeit talking led us home instead of staying there and we didn't get to sleep till around 12.30PM which was hard. But then we slept till like me 6.30 and Max like 8, so pretty good effort. Then we got dressed and went BACK out. This time to DeNoir at the Bank for Rhys' big event opening. It was HEAPS good. And there was a good crowd. But it is really difficult to have a sunday party start when its getting into winter. But he did good none the same. So now I'm laying in bed with a sleeping Maximillian running on 4% battery so must be off.
Until next time Wally watchers.
p.s. this is the puppy I want more than ANY other. I would call him Fizzgick.
I may have bipolar. Or I may just be a weirdo. Or I may just be a girl. But I have had a COMPLETE 360 from this time yesterday. Some things and people will never be resolved as that is who they are and I have come to realize that there is no real hope in trying. So with that new found glorious information. And the fact that Maximillian is amazing. I'm happy. Anyone else happy today?
So. I need to be at my new ADHD specialist appointment by 2pm yeah. So I order a taxi from Max's for 1.20pm yeah. Then by 1.45pm it's still not here so I call and they tell me no one can get me. So I ring the doctors and ask if I can cancel the booking and re book. Only to discover that it's kinda like a once only opportunity to see him and if I fuck it up I don't get to see him. And I'd have to pay a cancellation fee of $210. So I tell then whole story about my taxi and being stranded and they let me book for 4.30pm.
Moral of the story?
Don't use taxis combined when you actually NEED to be somewhere. Fucked.
But on a lighter note. After my little melt down last night I came to Max's place and he made me feel like a gazillion dollars. With hugs and kisses and love and care. The one thing he teaches me everyday. Is that no matter how bad you think it is. Someone who loves you will always make you feel better. And for that, my whole appointment thing really isn't that bad. I'm too happy to be worried. And thankyou to Anneka and Bianca who gave me such love and understanding. I now know I really do have true friends who understand me.
Everyday someone comes up with a new excuse to blame something on me.
Whether it be something small like not picking up washing. Or something medium like not trying hard enough to get in contact with someone when they don't want to be contacted. Or something big like I ruined their entire day, they way the act it's like I killed their dog.
Going from 5 months of not working straight into full time work is FUCKING HARD! And no one seems to understand this. It is like a foreign concept to people. I'm learning a hundred things a day and yet I'm expected to drop everything to make people feel good about themselves. I love helping people don't get me wrong. I'm a friend and a lover and I try however I can to make your day and life better. But for once could someone take a step back and think about what might have happened to me? No one has asked me how work is. And the people who do only want one word answers as they can't be fucked to listen. I know to some people fashion retail may seem like the easiest job on the planet. But when you're getting trained to help manager up to 50 staff and expected to know every single bracelet, necklace, ring, hat, stocking, handbag, shoe and thats just my own area I have to know the garments too. It's HARD! And when all you want to do is come home and see someone you love who you haven't seen in weeks or someone you love, who would rather go to community service tomorrow than spend it with you. You don't feel super awesome about yourself. I've spent hardly ANY time with my friends in the past two weeks and everyone else has so it's a chore for them to spend AN HOUR with me. I know this is a blog. And I know that things like this are usually kept within. But I actually have NO ONE ELSE to talk to. So if you understand, I feel for you. Because nothing is worse than feeling as lonely as I do right now. Wish I was 3 again and could just cry whenever I felt like it. But at least I'm gettin some tears out now. Make that a lot of tears.
Saturday night was spent prancing around Kings Cross in a bright yellow jacket with my lovely Chanel bag. Anneka said I looked oh so very Marc Jacobs. She was right. Token Maximillian shot. Thanks Byron Spencer at www.champagnehangover.blogspot.com
It;s 9.49AM on Monday the 15th of March. Well I successfully finished a full week of work 2 days ago and I'm about to leave to do 3 more then a day off then 3 more again. WOW all these hours of work and I haven't been paid yet. But it's only been a week so it's not the end of the world. What I do have to buy is a camera first and foremost. Then work clothes and shoes. Forever New have the cutest Isabel Marant copies that I must get.
But other than work life is very very
nice to me at the moment. Went out Saturday night and had a little bit of a party then came home for snuggles. The saw Alice in Wonderland. I liked it. Everyone was telling me how absolutely horrible it was as they'd gone in with expectations of the greatest film ever, and were disappointed. So I went in thinking it'd be terrible and came out surprised. Awesome.
Also my little Nikki is very very unwell and has been "holed up" at home. But as Facebook tells me she still went out on Sunday morning in the wee hours even though it wasn't IN 77 so it's "okay right?"
OH, also MAximillian's Mum is currently in Hong Kong and messaged him yesterday asking if I wanted anything from H&M. So stoked. On the sight now. And my own Mother is touring around Spain, Portugal, Madrid and all those exotic places shopping. How wonderful. Wish I could have a holiday. Work will have to do.
So. It's Monday night at 9.05PM on the 8Th of March. Several things are up.
1. I had Future music 2 days ago and although I was ridiculously sober I had the best time ever. Mainly due to the incredible people I went with by the names of Nikki, Morgan, Josh, Jess and Courtney. It was a mini group effort and we did have an amazing day which ended with them going to 77 and me to Piano room then back to Max's and schhleeping.
2. I have my first day of work tomorrow. I'M SO NERVOUS!!! I haven't started somewhere new in over a year. It's like starting at a new school. nerve racking. But Mum gave me money just before she left for her overseas trip to buy myself new Forever New clothes for work. So tomorrow morning for the first time in months I can guilt free shop! So excited.
3. I've said it before and I'll say it again. DAMN I love my boyfriend. Not just for the random times where he calms me down and explains things to me so I understand the, not just for his constant patience and understanding. But for the fact that I woke up this morning being spooned so amazingly lovingly I felt like the luckiest girl who ever lived. And when I went to move he just hugged me tighter so I never want to leave. I love him.
And now it is off to bed for me.
I love you all. Except if you hate me. Then I say, whaddyahatemeefoooorrr???